


Imposter Syndrome

by Tharapita



Category: Among Us (Video Game)
Genre: Betrayal, Body Horror, Canon-Typical Behavior, Canon-Typical Violence, Character Death, Compulsion, Death, Dystopia, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, Future Dystopia, Horror, Loss of Body to External Force, Loss of Control, Love, M/M, Mentions of Sex, Murder, POV First Person, Pain, Parasites, Psychological Horror, Romance, Suffering, Violence, imposter POV, no beta we die like men
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-24
Updated: 2020-10-24
Packaged: 2021-03-09 06:49:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,659
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27179497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tharapita/pseuds/Tharapita
Summary: Blue is honored to be chosen as one of 10 of the best Earth has to offer, sent on the SpaceShip Skeld to found the first ever human colony on the nearby planet of Polus. However, Blue soon discovers that all is not well, and is forced into a position where the only ending is a cold death in the expanses of space.
Relationships: Blue/Cyan (Among Us), Crewmates are Close Friends, Green/Yellow (Among Us)
Comments: 4
Kudos: 17





	Imposter Syndrome

My breath is hot and sticky, steaming the inside of my space-suit’s visor and clouding my vision. It’s uncomfortable, not being able to see like this. Everything is uncomfortable nowadays, especially the clinging sweat that grips like a limpet to the hair at the base of my neck and then runs down my spine, a simulation of someone walking over my grave. Ironic, really. When I do die, I won’t be getting a grave, not like the others. The only thing in my future is the icy abyss of endless space. 

I shift my grip slightly, my oil-slick hands slipping inside the suit’s glove, which is itself curled tightly around a long, vicious knife. A bitter reminder of why exactly I’m getting cramps, curled up in the claustrophobic vent system of the ship. Gazing up through the grating at the achingly familiar scene of the inside of electrical, dread and excitement in equal measures fill me as I hear the tell-tale dull thump of a space-suited footsteps approaching. I uncurl my legs, position my hand onto the vent, poised like a tiger ready to pounce. The image is not something I relish as a pair of yellow boots come into view.

How did it get to this? Only three years ago this situation would have been hilarious in its ridiculousness to me. Me, forced to systematically kill the others on my spaceship? That would never happen. Things were so different three years ago. I was so thrilled to have graduated The Academy with one of the highest grades in my Tier, the Astronaut Tier, meaning I was going to be one of the first ever crewmembers of The Skeld, the first ever human expedition to our closest planet, Polus. I can still remember the floods of joy I had, the excitement opening my results. My mother, sitting beside me, floods of tears streaming from her eyes.  
“You made it!” She had smiled, laughed. “You’re going to be a Spaceman!” 

Come to think of it, she probably knew. That’s why she was crying. Bearing in mind I’ve never met my father, it was probably her that placed the thing in me, that planned all of this out. But I hadn’t known the future then, I had just been buzzing, fresh-faced and enthralled that I had made it to be a Crewmate. It hadn’t been long after Results Day that I had entered Space Facility. It had been daunting, leaving behind literally everything I’d ever known to meet 9 other people that I was going to spend the rest of my life with, away from the planet all humans had ever lived on. 

We spent 6 months in Space Facility getting to know one another, building friendships before we left. We lived in a mock-up of The Skeld, and spent our time laughing, joking, playing cards as well as learning the new Routine, of course. It was strange, changing from a child’s Routine to what was close to an adult’s, but that at least was something everyone had to go through as they aged. After all, you couldn’t very well expect an adult to receive a child’s rations, or use a child’s sleep schedule. That sounds like anarchy fitting of the Empire of Biadan.

Our little mock-up was aired live on television as well, with frequent highlights shows and commentaries, according to my mother, who I was allowed to video call once a month. I wouldn’t know, but I heard rumours that the Biadanians had their own Polus expedition nearing completion, and so the broadcast of our preparations was meant to instill confidence in the public in our government. That we were ahead of the Biadanians in every respect. 

That seems deeply silly now. Still, those sixth months were fantastic. We were all so similar, and we found we got on so well with each other, it didn’t feel like a State Project at all. Then again, our state was so benevolent perhaps all State Projects were this much fun. I found particularly though that Cyan was my closest friend. There was something about her, the way she smiled, the way she joked and her little habits that I felt inexplicably drawn to. And she to me, apparently. We spent a lot of time together, doing our tasks and relaxing at Break Times, she was always so ready to help me out with a smile gracing her lips. It made everything even better still.

We were also supposed to spend a year on Earth, in the mock-up, but again the Biadanians were close to completion so sixth months ahead of schedule we moved onto the real Skeld and were sent out into the great unknown. ‘The final frontier’, my mother always used to call it, saying it was something her grandmother remembered from the pre-two country system days. That first year and a half on The Skeld was not overly different to our time on the mock-up. Of course we did our tasks, kept the ship ticking over, but on the whole she was able to fly herself, and we found that we had a lot of free time to talk and enjoy ourselves. It didn’t really feel like we had left Earth at all, if you ignored the staring wide expanse of nothingness through every window.

Us Crewmates got closer, too. We had spent so long with just each other for company we were as close as any family, we knew each other inside out, knew every pet peeve and interest. It was amazing. Red and I would plan the best pranks together; Lime always appreciated someone helping him in O2, even though it wasn’t needed; Black liked people to tease his overly stiff manner; Pink enjoyed nothing more than planning our weekly threedie night, complete with real ersatz popcorn – yes real ersatz popcorn, not fake ersatz popcorn. And Cyan. Cyan and I grew closer still, we learnt the topography of each other’s soul, it was like nothing I had ever experienced before. 

Then, one evening, things changed between us. The two of us were alone in Medbay, testing our samples together when the compulsion came upon us and we learnt the topography of each other’s bodies. Her hair fell about her like a halo and caressed my bare skin as we learnt and melded, became inseparable. It was love, pure and simple and perfect. As perfect as she is. I could never have gone back to before when she was just my friend. Knowing she loved me and I loved her, that she was worth more than the whole world, the whole of Polus, and even better that she felt the same towards me. It set my heart a flutter and left me feeling the whole ship spin around me. There was nothing better in the whole universe than the moments I spent with her, and the best time of my life was when we explored one another, whispering, always whispering ‘I love you’.

I’m certain the rest of the Crewmates knew, our 'special time' together was never interrupted and although we never announced anything, relationships while in a State Project this had been expressly forbidden by The State after all, there was an understanding look from the others as she and I completed our tasks together, or lay beside one another watching the artificial sky. Anyway, if Green and Yellow were anything to go by no-one particularly cared what The State said anymore, it was each other that filled our hearts and heads, not undying loyalty to The State.

Which makes what happened next even more ironic really. I was lying, asleep with Cyan, when I dreamt its voice. It grated, like metal against concrete and it grinded against my soul.  
“Congratulations, Blue.” It said, its tone as congratulatory as a dead puppy. “You’ve made it, made it outside of Frizao’s radio signals and the Crewmates don’t suspect a thing.”  
"W-what? I don’t understand. Frizao? You mean The State? They have radio all the way to Polus.”  
“Oh come on, don’t tell me you believe the Frizaonian’s lies! You know the truth only comes from the Emperor.”  
“Who are you?!? What’re you saying? The Empire of Biadan is nothing but lies and anarchy!”  
“Rrrrrreally?” It purred, with all the melody of a pneumatic drill. “So you’re a liar and an anarchist then?”  
“I – I don’t……….Who are you?!? Leave me alone!”  
“You’re a Biadanian, y’know.”  
“I – I’m not! It’s a lie! I was born in Frizao – under The State!”  
“Then why am I in you? Why do you have a Sleeper Parasyte in you?” 

Silence. I couldn’t believe it. It couldn’t be true. There was no way I was a Sleeper, a spy, a fake. Planted in the enemy’s country to bring them down from within. I had seen them on television, people suddenly hinging backwards on themselves as their stomach ripped open and they erupted into a mass of tentacles that did nothing but kill and destroy any who came near. That couldn’t be me, my future. I couldn’t be. I loved The State. I served The State. I hated all Biadanians. I did my duty. I couldn’t be one of them. I couldn’t be different than Cyan.

"You are you are. I’ve always been here, little Spaceman. I’ve been here watching and waiting, and your time has come. I’m waking up inside you, and if you don’t feed me I’ll take over. I’m very hungry. Kill for me. Kill the filthy Frizaonians, destroy the ship. Sabotage. Murder. Destruction. Nothing else will appease me, little Spaceman. Do it, or die.”

I woke covered with sweat, breath coming in gasps. I rushed to the bathroom quickly, emptying the contents of my stomach with sudden revulsion. There was still no way. No way that it was true. I couldn’t – I wouldn’t. Cyan came in and placed her hand, soft and smooth across my bare back, comforting, rubbing slowly.  
“Are you alright, Blue?” She asked, her voice like cream to me. Despite everything she still managed to dispel the tension between my shoulders, take the shaking from my limbs.  
“I – I think I just ate something that was off.” I said, without even thinking. I’d never lied to a fellow Crewmate before, let alone to Cyan. And yet it came so easily, I hadn’t even tried.  
“Oh I’m sorry.” She said, her hair tickling my face as I collapsed weakly into her embrace. “You are very hot. Perhaps I should take you to Medbay.” NO! They’d see my scans, they’d know what was in me! I didn’t even think then that meant I’d already accepted what had happened, the U-turn of my destiny.  
“I’m not that bad.” I lied, again. “I just want to spend some time with you.” That was the truth, it rang golden, bringing a smile to me against all odds. Cyan could do that. Always could.

I tried to deny it to myself, at first. I lived as if nothing had happened, just a night of nausea. It didn’t work. The thing within me grew restless, hungrier. At first, it was just a shifting presence at the back of my next, like a worm under my skin. But it got worse. So much worse. It got hard to concentrate on something for a long time, and then even a short time. It was always hungry, always asking, clawing at the inside on my mind like a caged beast. It spread from the back of my neck down through my body, like tendrils beneath my skin agitating my muscles with every move. Only, it wasn’t just LIKE tentacles beneath my skin I realised one day. There, visibly under a layer of my skin black tentacles were writhing and worming around, lifting my skin away from my muscles. I could feel it, it hurt as it pulled and stretched where was never designed to ever be stretched. I couldn’t deny it after that, the revulsion I left every moment of the day as I felt the tendrils within me, always always moving and pulsating beneath the surface.

Eventually they moved even up my neck and towards my face, and there was nothing I could do to hide it. I was desperate, desperate to keep hiding it but also to hold off killing one of my friends, my family. I knew that it was death and destruction the thing within me craved, it whispered to me in concepts and visions, blood dripping from my fingers that slowly became tentacles, my crewmates torn in two, their bones and organs exposed to the air. I couldn’t hold out any longer. I couldn’t bear to become a monster like that.

To hide it, I took to releasing our oxygen supplies at inopportune moments, making it seem like the system had gone slightly wrong. I found out then that we were indeed out of The States radio range, as we couldn’t ask for help with it. We took to wearing our space suits, just in case the oxygen level started to drop randomly, and I was able to hide the monster living beneath my skin for a few weeks longer.

It hurt, hurt that I knew that soon was approaching the time that I would have to kill one of my fellow Crewmates, or loose control of my self forever to this beast of power withing me. But what hurt more was that I couldn’t bear to live in a world without Cyan. Every time I was decided to admit what I was, what I was going to have to do, to become. Every time I stood on the garbage disposal unit, prepared to eject myself. Every time I stood with a gun against my head I saw her face, her smile, the way her soft eyes crinkled when she yawned. I couldn’t bear to leave her alone. So I stayed, and it got worse and worse and worse. It intruded through everything, invaded every moment of my life until I couldn’t take another moment.

And Lime paid the price for my weakness.

I had to kill someone, I had to. It was that or leave Cyan forever. All it took was a single gunshot, and Lime was dead. I heard footsteps running, I had to get away. I panicked and leapt into the nearest thing. The vents. No human could fit through the vents of The Skeld. They’re too small, a human couldn’t fit, not even Green, the smallest of us. But I did. My body malformed itself, squashed and shifted without me even thinking about it. I knew, really, it wasn’t me that changed my body to slide through the vents as easily as walking.

They found Lime, and they called us together in the Cafeteria. We looked at each other with distrust, with hurt. Only a human could use the guns we had been issued. It had to have been one of us. And we were like family. The tension was palpable, and I felt sick with anxiety and guilt. We discussed for a long time, but it came down to White’s testimony in the end. She had seen Black leaving Security not long before I had gone in. We voted, and it was Black that received the most votes. I didn’t even get one.

Anger. The Crewmates were angry at Black. They were convinced that Black had killed Lime, and they were so angry. Hurt and betrayal raged across their faces as tears marred even Yellow’s face. White and Green dragged him away towards garbage disposal, his voice cracking as he continued to protest his innocence, swearing still that it wasn’t him, that he would never have killed Lime. Everyone thought he was lying. I knew he wasn’t. Everyone was still shouting as he fell through the airlock, and we watched his cold body drifting away into the depths of space, his black spacesuit like a macabre camouflage in the darkness. Cyan and I just clung to each other, silent.

Everyone was silent for days, the whole ship was subdued, and at times people would burst into tears, and no-one would even comment on it. The worst thing was the guilt. And that it wasn’t over. I knew, rationally, that it would only be over when everyone was dead, including Cyan and yet. And yet I was still willing to face another murder, another ejection of my family than to leave her behind. I knew it was selfish, I knew it was wrong but I still couldn’t do it.

And the thing beneath my skin still didn’t stay silent. It had purred through me as I had killed Lime, and as I watched, horrified, as Black’s body disappeared. It had purred and complimented me and gone silent. But it came back, reaching again from the base of my neck, writhing through me again.

I can feel it within me right now. It’s excited, getting more and more excited as Yellow steps closer and closer towards where I’m hiding. And suddenly I’m leaping from the vent, my body re-forming itself from what it had misshapen into to fit, the knife glinting maliciously in Electrical’s minimal lighting. It’s purring now, revelling in the blood that’s spurting from Yellow’s body as I’m tearing him apart. I can’t think about it, I just need to appease the thing for a moment or two longer.

Then it’s back into the vent. Back to misshaping myself to slither through it. I abandon the knife and I can feel my body covering my space suit, covering the bloodstains to turn my red suit Blue again. Got to get out, look normal. Up through the vent in Security. Quickly now quickly. Get out of the vent and –

Cyan.

Cyan.

Cyan sees me, sees my body all malformed, reforming itself.

Cyan sees me, leaving the vent and she knows.  
Knows I’ve been lying.

And it’s Cyan.

I can just see her face through the reflective visor of her helmet. I wish I couldn’t. She doesn’t understand. She’s hurt. She’s scared. And it’s my fault. She turns, running away. Running away from me.  
“Cyan! Wait!” I cry, desperately trying to catch up to her. “Cyan it’s not what it looks like! Please!” She’s tearing away from me, towards the Cafeteria. I’m faster than her. I know I am, I’ve beaten her in races and games countless times before. But now, my legs just won’t obey me, I can’t catch up to her as she broadcasts that golden voice of hers across the comm link. It’s so fragile and afraid, it doesn’t sound like her. Doesn’t sound like the strong, supportive, wonderful woman I love and I can’t bear to think that I won’t hear her sounding like herself again.  
“E – Everyone. Everyone please come to the Cafeteria. I – I know who killed Lime, it wasn't Black.”

The Crewmates arrive quickly and I can see the anger in their faces. The hurt. It’s my fault. It’s all my fault and yet all I can think of is what I did to Cyan as she sits, Pink’s arm wrapped around her as she shudders and cries and glares at me.  
“It’s Blue.” She whispers, her voice sounds fundamentally broken. “I saw Blue” She sobs and gasps, unable to speak for a moment “venting.” Shockwaves ripple through my family, their eyes gazing at me with anger.  
“You BASTARD.” Screams Green. “I saw Yellow’s body just before this. You killed them ALL.” Everyone is shouting now, everyone is anger incarnate. Yet among the maelstrom all I can do is look at Cyan and weep. Dimly I register people shouting, at each other, at me. Fingers are pointed, a lot of them towards me and everyone except Cyan is shouting and angry. Cyan is still crying and I realise so am I. She won’t look me in the eyes, her gaze welded to the metal floor. Then, just as her head moves and she starts to look at me, suddenly I feel a crack across my helmet. I think it’s Green, I’m not sure but I can feel people shielding me and pulling him away. I don’t care. I just can’t believe that I won’t see Cyan’s eyes again. They’re dragging me away now, and I know it’s towards my death. I don’t care, but with a stir, I suddenly feel the thing within me. It doesn't want to die, and it'll rip this very ship apart to avoid it.

No. Not now. I can’t let Cyan see me like that. I can’t bare it. But I have no control, my body flies away from me as my consciousness collapses in on itself, even my vision abandoning me. Dully, I can feel my stomach ripping itself open and tentacles launching out of me, desperately griping for a purchase on the smooth steel walls of the space ship. My arm has devolved into tentacles as well, each one a limb of pure muscle that pulls desperately at the two pushing me into the air lock. It doesn’t work, and just as the doors close I catch one last look of Cyan.

I do get to see her eyes one more time. I see only horror. Horror and hate. I try call out to her. I want to at least try to tell her it’s not my fault, but my mouth as gone and I can’t and already the doors have closed and she’s separated from me forever.  
It’s enough to give up.

I know the thing can survive out here in space. At least for a while. I don’t really care. I’m so far gone at this point I can’t even call it slipping. The frost that forms on the thing’s tentacles sting, and I can feel that it is angry but I don’t care. I don’t care about it anymore.

I only care that I will never see Cyan again, and it kills me.

**Author's Note:**

> Woah! All finished. This idea occurred to me while, surprise surprise, playing 'Among Us' as the Imposter, since no-one seems to be entirely sure what they exactly are (the Wiki just says an 'alien shape-shifter') or how they got onto the spaceship/base. So I thought I'd flesh it out a little. And stumbled across the most horrifying idea for a fanfic.
> 
> So yeah, sorry if you didn't enjoy this, but when you think about it 'Among Us' is actually a really horrific scenario.
> 
> Please, tell me what you thought, even if you hated it!


End file.
